The Top 15 Signs That Microsoft Owns Part of Apple
15 Apple’s stock fell only 25% last week.
14 Bill Gates’s birthday now a paid holiday for Apple employees.
13 Default Mac startup sound changed to “Taps.”
12 Wall Street brokers have stopped using Apple stock certificates as toilet paper.
11 Apple’s new slogan: “Almost as good as Windows!”
10 Apple has been bent over with its pants dropped for so long now, even a geek like Bill Gates was bound to get lucky.
9 Cute rainbow-colored apple now inhabited by cute rainbow-colored worm.
8 Microsoft comes out with an operating system incorporating Mac technology… uh, wait a minute…
7 Phone and utilities mysteriously start working again at Apple’s corporate HQ.
6 Steve Jobs seen tending bar at the Gates’ private lawn party.
5 Diners in Microsoft’s staff cafeteria can now enjoy their apple pie purely for its wholesome goodness and no longer as a symbolic act of global domination.
4 Unsold Newtons used as cobblestones in Gates’s driveway.
3 Apple Employee of the Month gets to hunt loose change at Bill’s house.
2 New Apple employee dress code includes large “Property of B. Gates” tattoo on ass. …and the Number
1 Sign That Microsoft Owns Part of Apple… 1 Bill Gates still burned in effigy, but upper management no longer attends.